why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
