So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
