Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
