so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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