He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize