You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
