don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
