You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sext me about skeletons
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize