unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
