I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize