I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
