just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
