i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
