Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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