butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
