so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
