i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
