i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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