mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
