Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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