On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
