I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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