real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Randomize
