You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
