garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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