Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
