Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
