I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize