Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize