Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
