its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
