Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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