hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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