I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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