Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
