somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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