opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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