I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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