So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
