remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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