She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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