Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
