you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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