Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
