When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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