i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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