Buhtt sex?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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