im drinking this country out of the recession.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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