So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize