Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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