she was so not down for the gang bang
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
