So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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