When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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