I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
