That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
