only if we run a train.
done.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
