Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
