Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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