The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
